Thanksgiving Jokes

Thanksgiving is soon upon us. If you have been in retail stores lately it is long gone. Anyway soon as in less than a week now we will all sit down with family. Many will have the traditional turkey and dressing and lots of stuffs and lets not forget the pies. In my household the only time we have the big dinner is if we are invited to someone else’s house. I gave up being stuck in the kitchen all day either cooking, serving or cleaning up.  years ago I de-stressed the holiday and we now have a traditional Thanksgiving Pizza. For those who are still sitting down to the big meal here are some funnies to help you de-stress as well.

How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey?
Only one, but you REALLY have to squeeze to get him in.

Why does a pilgrim’s pants always fall down?
Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat.

What’s a turkey’s favorite song?
“I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas”

What are the feathers on a turkey’s wings called?
Turkey feathers


How can you tell a male turkey from a female turkey?
The male is the one holding the remote control.

What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
The letter “g”!

Where did the first corn come from?
The stalk brought it

Asked to write a composition entitled, “What I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving,”
little Timothy wrote, “I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.”

The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.

Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, “You’re terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I’ll see to it that you get a huge bonus.”

“Forget the bonus,” the turkey said, “All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?”


If a big turkey is called a gobbler, what do you call a little turkey.
A goblet.

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, ‘Do these turkeys get any bigger?’

The stock boy answered, ‘No ma’am, they’re dead.’

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