For some reason I did not want to write about this weight loss today. I almost feel a bit whiny. I know I am not. I am on a Journey that perhaps others are on, maybe not. Yet, I still feel as if I am bothering everyone with my thoughts on weight loss and what is going on with me. Maybe it is because I wrote so much on the quit smoking, or about my lung disease and now I am going to bug everyone with this. Little Miss Attention Seeker or something. I did not want to write this so much I took a nap and was contemplating reasons not to write. I ran out of any real reasons and here I am writing.
It is frustrating for me to try to lose this weight. I seem to be stuck for a long time at one weight. I don’t gain and I don’t lose. So the answer is eat less or exercise more. Or both. I will be honest and say I tend to one or the other. I can have days and days where i eat less calories (around 1400) then I will have a day where I eat up to 1800 calories. I have been sporadic in the exercise dept. I was walking religiously and still do but the last two days i have had to step back from that. Been dragging in the energy dept and I have learned that it is better for me to take the naps and give myself a break so I don’t fall into a flareup.
I am a little more aware of the fact that I am not walking as much so I trying hard to not ingest more food. I wonder why when I don’t feel well I want to eat more? It used to be when I didn’t feel well I didn’t eat at all. Now I become very hungry. Good thing I don’t have cookies and other snack foods in the house. During the recent Fourth of July festivities we bought cookies to share with the family. Yep I gobbled those down. they are like an addictive drug.
My son as the right attitude, which is eat right, don’t beat yourself up and exercise more. I could not agree more with him. My honey bought a bike and we ride it together. right now only on the weekends, but I am almost to the point where I have enough stamina I may be able to ride by myself. As for the eating right, 99% of the time, I do. I rarely ever eat fast food. I try to eat lots of fruits and veggies, I make lowfat homemade dinners, I truly think it is the exercise part.
Beating yourself up thing, yea I do that a lot. I do not want to be a bother. I rarely tell anyone what is truly going on in side of me. I just again. feel whiny and like I am being judged. which maybe I am ,but I am unable to “shake it off” or “ignore the haters”. I talk a good talk but my insides churn sometimes with the meanness of other people. I don’t really an them to use my feelings as their play things. That is why I just don’t share. Not sure it is important to my weight loss anyway.
Maybe next time I write I can have better news about how much I have loss and how great I am doing. Maybe I will have a tale of my own self esteem being awesome etc. then the post would not be so whiny. then again, maybe not.