I have been on this earth for 57 years. I have been a mom for 38 years. I have been sober for 35 years. have been married for 34 years. I have been a grandma for 8 years. I have been diagnosed with emphysema for 8 years and I have been smoke free for 7 years. All those years, I have learned a thing or two. Not much, but enough to get by.


I got to tell you in the combined events above, there have been issues, emergencies, horrible days, good days, and all manners of occurrences. I remember very few of them. Not because I have issues with memory but more due to the fact that while those things were so intense in the moment they passed. The tears, the laughter, the anger, all gone. Even the memory retained of the worse times have lost their sting, the good times, their joy. I looked back on the bad times with more thankfulness, thankful they are done, thankful for whatever came of it and I look back on the good with fondness and a that warm satisfaction of a good time years past. Whatever the day it too shall pass.


Please. Trust me it is better on the other side. I know it is easier to wallow in the mire of your issues, it is certainly more comfortable, but there really is a better mud pit on the other side. As I go through life I find myself wanting to stay in my problems. It gives me the ability to have something to talk about, to discuss, to look like, perhaps I have real problems. Don’t you understand what I am going through? Let me tell you. Besides the journey through this quagmire is comfortable and I don’t have to change a thing. It is unnecessary for me to look in the mirror and maybe deal with the underlying challenge. Yet getting through your issues, challenges, problems not matter how big or small, no matter how personal, no matter the length, is worth it all. Looking at my defects got me through and now I am better for it, my life is better. Glad I don’t have to go through that anymore.


When I am driving and my car makes a weird noise, or perhaps doesn’t start, I call the professionals to diagnose and fix it. Sometimes it is my hubby tweaking something, sometimes the road service changes a battery or puts gas in and sometimes into the shop it goes. The point is I call someone who knows what they are doing. I, who barely understands the combustion engine, does not open the hood of my car and start pulling wires or twisting bolts. I can’t look and know what is wrong. Honestly, I wouldn’t even know where to start. The same goes for my husband, my children, my siblings, my neighbors, someone at work, or a complete stranger I have eavesdropped on their conversation. I am not a professional and I am not sure what makes me think I can fix anyone. I cannot look at them and know what is wrong and the right way to fix it. It is not my job to understand and fix, it truly is my job to just let it be. Love those I love and get out of other peoples business.


The three points above, while I am sharing them, are more for me than you. Being human I mess up all the time. I have learned these things, and sometimes I practice them perfectly. Usually I don’t. I just do my best everyday to follow the above and let others be who and what they are.