EMPHYSEMA UPDATE
Been a minute but this is what’s happening
I belong to several COPD boards. Some better than others. While I don’t really connect much with the people, I do read the articles and studies. I can feel my lungs getting slightly worse and it worries me a bit as I am pretty sure I’ll end up in a home at some time in the future. I already feel a bit like a failure having a disease that was most likely preventable. I try not to complain about the tired, the pain (then worse sometimes) and just bully through, do all the things. Try to lose weight (which will definitely happen as my lungs get worse) and be a big pain in arse.ninfeel guilty about being whiney so I just keep it to my myself. Sometimes on the boards I say something,but I don’t have but one or two who reply.
It is always scary to me when someone I know dies of lung disease or I meet someone who has it. I mean, I could be next. It is also sad as hell how many die alone or live without any support from those they love. Usually hired strangers attend to them.
The problem with getting older and having a chronic condition is people closest to you start looking for connections outside of you. Sharing things they don’t share with you. Like a sibling sharing with another sibling something but not you. Kids no longer tell you what going on in their lives. Spouses text old and new flames looking for someone they can emotionally connect to that “understands” them or they can feel empowered with. Those conversations usually include things they do not share with the Significant other or are in secret .
It leaves the patient with copd behind and adds to depression, the feeling of being a burden and the lack of trust in those they trusted unconditionally. The feeling of betrayal becomes strong.Some medications increase these feelings as well as anxiety.
Suicides are at 54% for those diagnosed with copd. Divorce rates increase when the wife is the one with copd. That’s because men find caring for their wives stressful and enjoy an increasing pool of eligible females for remarry.
Many patients can live into their 70s but that depends on the severity of the disease and if there are other health concerns. After divorce or cheating by the husband many women die within 5 years. Emotional stress is significant factor in worsening health. Men seem to fare better.
I do my best not to be morose, but the statistics and reality isn’t looking good for me, my health, my emotional state and family. Faith in the Lord helps me a lot and I thought about getting a dog to be my companion. Dog probably won’t happen, but it’s a thought now and then. I just try to enjoy things while I can before I become lonely, bed bound or dead. Those two things could happen 20 years from now or next week. Currently my lungs are in exacerbated state and they hurt, but those too shall pass.
