Did You Ever Notice?

Many of you will remember Andy Rooney.  For those of you who do not, Andy Rooney was an American radio and television writer ((January 14, 1919 – November 4, 2011). He is most remembered for his weekly broadcast “A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney,” which was part of the CBS News program 60 Minutes from 1978 to 2011. “A Few minutes with Andy Rooney” typically aired at the end of the show and was a commentary that usually was a bit sarcastic and a bit tongue in cheek. He usually talked about some topic that, in the grand scheme of things, really didn’t make a difference but many of us could identify with.  Things such as the cost of groceries, annoying relatives, or faulty Christmas presents. He would always began his segments with “Did you ever notice that..” and away he went.

This blog post is a bit like Andy Rooney’s segment. There are a few things that I have noticed and are actually nothing more than pet peeves but in the immortal words of Andy Rooney….Did you ever notice?

Did you ever notice that when you mention that you do not like a certain food, the other person feels it is their duty and life calling to change your mind? I hate mushrooms. I no longer tell people this. When I do, I usually get a reply that goes something like this: “Oh but you haven’t tried __________ (insert type of mushroom) prepared like (insert cooking technique here).” OR “well we you haven’t tried them the way I make them.” OR (my favorite actually) this conversation. “No thank you I do not care for mushrooms, I would rather not have them on my pizza, salad, sandwich, etc” “Oh well with the other ingredients you can’t really taste them anyway”. SO, then what is the point of including the mushrooms if you can’t taste them anyway?

Did you ever notice that people with small children seem to think that the rest of the world should forgive the bad behavior of their children because, well, they are children? I am sorry that you are ill prepared to deal with your child in public places. Truly. I understand that your child is still learning how to act like a person within society. I get it. I have two children of my own. BUT I don’t feel that I should have to dodge your child in a store because you gave up trying to make them stay by you and are now playing a rousing game of hide and seek in the store. I do not feel that I should have to deal with the curiosity of your child who insists in looking under the divider between the fitting rooms or the bathroom stalls.  I don’t feel I should have to deal with your child standing up on the restaurant booth to turn around and look at me as I try to enjoy my meal. You may think your child is cute, brilliant, and adorable and, by golly, who could resist such a wonderful thing, but I do not. If you are going to allow them to run around and be rude little monkeys then I hope YOU understand when I poke them in the eye or trip them as they run by.

Did you ever notice that a parking lot brings out the worst in people? I do think folks forget that in a parking lot there are not only cars but also, gasp, people walking.  People are so intent on grabbing that primo parking spot or getting to their car with their treasures that neither group looks out for the other. Both need to slow down, and keep an eye out for each other. BUT the worse group? Those people in the cars that sloooooooowly follow you as you walk to your car so they can get your spot (sometimes passing up other spots in the process) and then when you get to your car, there are two things that happen. One is the person who has left you no room to back up and then when they finally understand you need the room, back up four inches and usually darn near hitting the person behind them (because the person behind them has someone behind them who has someone behind them….). Sorry people, if I can’t back up, I cannot vacate the spot. OR if you have no intention of leaving at the moment because you have a phone call, want to gloat over your acquisitions or just plain don’t feel like leaving, you have the stalker who waits maybe a whole 30 seconds and then starts honking. Well, guess what, there is no law anywhere that says because I enter my car that I am obligated to vacate the spot because YOU want it.  Even if I turn on my car. I can sit there idling listening to music and wasting gas until the cars come home. In fact, you honk at me? I am going to sit there until you give up and move on. Then and only then will I vacate spot. So there!

I could probably go on, but in the spirit of Andy Rooney’s 3-minute segment, I will stop here. I am sure that you could add to this list. I know I can.