Elephant Jokes

Q: What do you call an elephant with a machine gun? A: Sir. Q: What do you call an elephant wearing pink earmuffs and a dress? A: Anything you want. It can’t hear you. Q: Why do elephants stand on marshmallows? A: So they won’t fall in the hot chocolate. Q: How do you get down from an elephant? A: You don’t, you get down from a duck….

Cartoon Laws of Physics

Cartoon Law I Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation. Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per second per second takes over. Cartoon Law II Any body in…

Famous World Ideologies, as explained by references to Cows

Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. Pure Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you all the milk you need. Bureaucratic Socialism: Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers….

The Dinner Time Telemarketer

This is too too funny!!! It was dinner time, as it always is, when the “invader” called. The conversation went like this: Me: Hello? Him: Hello… this is Jeff, with United Independent Universal Environmental Awareness Group. Me: I’m sorry, who did you say? Him: This is Jeff, with United Independent Universal Environmental Awareness Group and we would like to ask…