Happy Merry Easter

The Night Before Easter Author Unknown ‘Twas the night before Easter. All was calm and laid back. Fred, the mouse in the kitchen, snarfed down a late snack. The eggs were all dyed but still drippy and sticky… To be honest, they looked just a little bit icky. There were big jelly beans, chocolate bunnies and such, And as Fred…

Top 50 Childrens Book That Didn’t Quite Work

1. You are Different and That’s Bad 2. Take a Walk Down the Railroad Tracks with Me 3. Dad’s New Wife ‘Greg’ 4. Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share 5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An “I-Can-Do-It” Book: 6. A Children’s Guide to Hitchhiking 7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mommy Stopped Loving Her 8. Curious George and the High-Voltage…

Cartoon Laws of Physics

Cartoon Law I Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation. Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per second per second takes over. Cartoon Law II Any body in…

Famous World Ideologies, as explained by references to Cows

Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. Pure Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you all the milk you need. Bureaucratic Socialism: Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers….

The Dinner Time Telemarketer

This is too too funny!!! It was dinner time, as it always is, when the “invader” called. The conversation went like this: Me: Hello? Him: Hello… this is Jeff, with United Independent Universal Environmental Awareness Group. Me: I’m sorry, who did you say? Him: This is Jeff, with United Independent Universal Environmental Awareness Group and we would like to ask…

Real Women Do Things A Little Differently

  Some useful advice from “Creative Humor at Work: Living the Humor Perspective” by Sandra Meggert, Ph.D. (2008): Ladies–If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it’s still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant fix-me-up. Real Woman-– If you over-salt a dish while cooking, that’s just too bad. Pleace recite with…

The Chihuahua

Once there three male dogs who set eyes on a beautiful female poodle. They all rushed over to her. Aware of her charms, she said, “I will go out with the first one of you who can use the words ‘liver’ and ‘cheese’ together in an intelligent sentence.” Immediately the Lab said, “I like liver and cheese.” “No imagination at…