Gauge: Railroad to Chariots

Next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse’s rear came up with it The US Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4  feet, 8.5 inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used?  Because that’s the way they built them in England, and the US railroads  were built by English expatriates Why did…

Bathroom Poetry

We have all done this. Gone into a public bathroom and while sitting there, read the walls. Most of the stuff is silly or  love stories. Billy loves Edna. Sally. Megan. F*ck You, Billy , Sally. For a good time call 555-665-7890. There are disturbing declarations like Jesus is watching or I am going to kill Billy or Edna can kiss my ass. There are the…

Court Statements (funny)

  Actual statements made in court … Judge: I know you, don’t I? Defendant: Uh, yes. Judge: All right, tell me, how do I know you? Defendant: Judge, do I have to tell you? Judge: Of course, you might be obstructing justice not to tell me. Defendant: Okay. I was your bookie. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ From a defendant representing himself… Defendant: Did…

Children’s View Of Love and Marriage

WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED? “Eighty-four. Because at that age, you don’t have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other.” (Judy, 8) “Once I’m done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me a wife.” (Tommy, 5) WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? “On the first date, they just tell…

The Worlds Longest Joke Part 3

Jack sat down, well back from the lever. He looked thoughtful and puzzled at the same time. After a bit, he said, “So this makes me the Judge of humanity? I get to decide whether they keep going or just end? Me?” “That seems to be it,” agreed Nate. “What kind of criteria do I use to decide?” said Jack….