Non-Smoking 24 days now
I have been smoke-free for 24 days now. Many things have been happening, in my body and in my head. Some good, some not so good and some just plain weird. All of it as been quite the adventure and the things I thought would be triggers for me are not and things that I never thought of ARE triggers.
I recently went to an casino. I thought for sure that I would have a hard time with it, that all those people smoking would be a trigger for me. I had ran out of the Nicorette Lozenges and was worried about it enough that I insisted we stop to get some on the way. The actual conversation was something along the lines of : “Why don’t you want and see if you can go without.” I did not think I could and honestly wasn’t willing to. I am not ready to give up the security of having them. I really was worried. So we stopped. When we got there, it was hours before I even thought of having a cigarette. I was more aware of the fact that my eyes were burning. I did not have a lozenge until after our breakfast. Meals, it seems, are still triggers for me.
As to the changes in my body, the thing I notice the most is that I am starting to be very congested. I am hacking up some nasty stuff. I also keep losing my voice, I sound like I smoked for 30 years. It is a little disconcerting as I did not sound like that when I did smoke. You know, the voice that is raspy and when you laugh ends up sounding like the cartoon dog character Mutley. I have gained weight. Which pisses me off. I am actually eating better than before I quit. eating. Fruits and veggies are my go-to foods right now. Yet I gained weight. Aargh.
The stuff in my head. Well. It is like I am going through puberty, menopause, pregnancy and PMS all at once. I am not always making sense. I am incredibly sensitive these days. I do not mean to be. Truly. My head is amazed at what comes out of my mouth. If you are one of those who have been on the receiving end of all that…I am sorry.
I think the weirdest things happened to me yesterday. I forgot I did not smoke anymore. It was totally strange. I got up and walked over to where I used to keep my smokes. Was going to grab on and walk outside to enjoy it. I got to the sideboard, looked around and not finding my smokes, went to look on my desk (my other throw the pack of smokes place). When I did not see them, I was perplexed for a minute, then I remind I did not smoke more. It was like a “Oh Yea” moment. Weird, I tell ya.
I hope that this phase of weirdness and strange behavior ends soon. Can you imagine if it was permanent? Goodness, they would have to lock me up.
DISCLAIMER: These posts are nothing more than chronicling my efforts to quit smoking. Anything I write is nothing more than my way of doing so and my feelings associated with those efforts. If you are inspired to quit smoking by anything, you read here, please see a doctor and follow their instructions. I, in no way, am suggesting or recommending anything as means of smoke cessation.