New You May Have Missed 8/15 – 8/21

Woman Sets Boyfriends Junk On Fire

Earlier this week a video was Youtube that caused quite a stir.  It shows a scorned woman dousing her sleeping boyfriends crotch with some knd of liquid then setting it ablaze. All in retaliation for his cheating.  Of course there is some doubt that the video is authentic, the varaity of the whole thing is under question

“Heh. That guy is faking his ‘cries’ of agony to get out of the situation cleanly. If he really got burned, he would yell like hell and sprint towards shower. Who says ow ow ow, when his d*** is burning?,” says YouTuber aabeeceed.

Others think the whole video is a stament on the double standards in today’s society.

“Now reverse the genders and see if women will find it so funny then? feminism is a joke,” points out YouTube user Cascadesbmx

I thnk that if it is a real video then it is incredibly incriminating. You would think someone these days would not be dumb enough to video themselves in the commission of a crime.  Oh and maybe that man needs a new woman.

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Presidential Candidate Deez Nuts Is A Practical Joke

Presidnetial Candidate, Deez Nuts. turns out to be a practical joke by a 15 year old boy from Iowa. Brady Olson says he came up with the fictional character out of frustration from the   two party system and the current front runners.  Brady feels he is more a Libertarian and is not a fan of the frontrunners, Bush, Trump or Clinton. When asked what qualifies him to be president his answer was:

“The fact that if I can fill out a form so vague that it doesn’t include your age, or the fact that all get accepted even if they’re only partially filled, anyone can run.”

Brady will learn that there are some qualifications that he does not possess at this time. One of which is his age. The Consititution sets the minimum age at 35. His father confirmed to Rolling Stone Magazine that Brady is indeed  Deez Nuts, he continued to say that Brady is a 15-year-old incoming high school sophomore with “no day job, no kids, no marriage.”

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Porn Star Kayla Kupcakes Flashes Judge

Susan Surrette, 54, of Fort Lauderdale  had a little too much to drink  and was arrested was  disorderly intoxication.  When she When Judge John Hurley asked Surrette what she does for employment, she said she works as an escort and porn star named Kayla Kupcakes. Things went downhill (?) after that. She started to complain about police brutality during her arrest. She pointed out her booboos on her arms and the she stood up and showed the judge her breasts so he couse see the owies on her breasts as well.  No comments were made about her anatomy but she was reprimanded for mental health assessments.

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