Monday Questions

Monday QuestionsOk so it is Monday again. I swear it rolls around every week….wait..what? SO that was humor. Go ahead a give a giggle, it will make me feel better and not quite as lame. This Monday for me started out with a backed up kitchen sink. Actually started last night but this morning thought we had it fixed.  Nope. The chemicals seemed to help out but as soon as I started the washing machine it backed up again. So I call the plumber, they are very busy and can’t make it till tomorrow morning early.  In the meantime, not being able to use the Kitchen sink as got me idle. And we all know that idles hands lead to a busy mind. My busy mind always turns to wondering and pondering on many things. Things that the answer to may not exist. maybe you know the answer to some of these…

  • Who closes the door after the bus driver gets off the bus?
  • What ever happened to an E grade? We have A,B,C,D,F but no E.
  • Why does mineral water that has “trickled through mountains for centuries” go out of date next year?
  • If Milli Vanilli fell in the woods, would someone else make a sound ?
  • Why can magicians make things disappear into thin air, but not thick air?
  • Can people without hands get a grip?
  • Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
  • What do people in China call their good plates?
  • Does a postman deliver his own mail?
  • Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself?
  • Is the fear of flying groundless?
  • Why do people say “You scared the living daylights out of me” when daylight is not living?
  • nyway?
  • If somebody vanished without a trace, how do people know they are missing?
  • Why do people never say “it’s only a game” when they’re winning?
  • If you accidently ate your own tongue, what would it taste like?
  • Do sore thumbs really stick out?
  • Why is it when you’re almost dead you’re on deaths doorstep, but when you’re actually dead your not in deaths house?
  • What’s the opposite of opposite?
  • If Practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, then why practice?
  • Is the opposite of “out of whack” “in whack” ?
  • What do you call male ballerinas?
  • How come the sun makes your skin darker but your hair lighter?
  • If you dig a tunnel straight through the earth, will you come out with your feet first?
  • Did they have antiques in the olden days?
  • Where does the white go when the snow melts?
  • Can blind people see their dreams?
  • What is the exception to the rule that every rule has an exception? Does that make this rule right or wrong?
  • Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
  • Why do they call it “getting your dog fixed” if afterwards it doesn’t work anymore?
  • If Wile Coyote had enough money for all that Acme crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?
  • If when people freak out they are said to be “having a cow”, when cows freak out are they said to be “having a person?”
  • Aren’t you tired of people asking you rhetorical questions and you don’t know if they are rhetorical questions or not?
  • Why do they have handicap parking spaces in front of they skating rings?
  • What happens if someone loses a lost and found box?
  • Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?
  • If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests?
  • How can you hear yourself think?
  • Is a man full of wonder a wonderful man?
  • How come thaw and unthaw mean the same thing?
  • If The Flintstones were B.C. and before America, why did they have Flintstones Thanksgiving and Flintstones Christmas?
  • If you fed a bee nothing but oranges, would it start making marmalade?
  • Why is it good to be a Daddy’s girl, but bad to be a Momma’s boy?
  • How can something be new and improved? if it’s new, what was it improving on?
  • Is Disney world the only people trap operated by a mouse?
  • If you’re in hell, and are mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
  • What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
  • What would Cheese say if they got their picture taken?
  • Why are turds pinched off at the end?
  • I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?
  • What would you use to dilute water?
  • What should one call a male ladybird?
  • How can military troops be deployed if they have never been ployed to begin with?
  • If you lived in Siberia and you wronged the Russians government, where would they send you?
  • Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
  • Aren’t all generalizations false?
  • Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
  • Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
  • Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
  • Could someone ever get addicted to counseling?
  • If so, how could you treat them?
  • Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip?
  • Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
  • Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
  • Do one legged ducks swim in circles?
  • Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as 4’s?
  • Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?
  • Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
  • How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
  • How can someone “draw a blank”?
  • How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
  • How can there be “self help GROUPS”?
  • How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
  • How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
  • How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
  • How do you know when yogurt goes bad?
  • How do you know when you’re out of invisible ink?
  • How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?
  • How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
  • How fast do you have to go to keep up with the sun so you’re never in darkness?
  • How is it possible to have a civil war?
  • If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
  • If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
  • If a synchronized swimmer drowns, does her partner also have to drown?
  • If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
  • If a tree fell on a mime in the forest, would he make a sound and would anyone care?
  • If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
  • If a woman can be a meter maid, can a man be a meter butler?
  • If God dropped acid, would he see people?
  • How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented but just didn’t have anything to jot it down on?
  • If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
  • If a case of the clap spreads, is it then considered a case of the applause?
  • If a jogger runs a the speed of sound can he still hear his walkman?
  • If a mute child swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
  • If God sneezes…what should you say?
  • If inert is to be stationary, what is ert?
  • If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
  • If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
  • If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?