Famous World Ideologies, as explained by references to Cows

Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. Pure Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you all the milk you need. Bureaucratic Socialism: Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers….

The Dinner Time Telemarketer

This is too too funny!!! It was dinner time, as it always is, when the “invader” called. The conversation went like this: Me: Hello? Him: Hello… this is Jeff, with United Independent Universal Environmental Awareness Group. Me: I’m sorry, who did you say? Him: This is Jeff, with United Independent Universal Environmental Awareness Group and we would like to ask…

Real Women Do Things A Little Differently

  Some useful advice from “Creative Humor at Work: Living the Humor Perspective” by Sandra Meggert, Ph.D. (2008): Ladies–If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it’s still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant fix-me-up. Real Woman-– If you over-salt a dish while cooking, that’s just too bad. Pleace recite with…

Grandpa Bear Was a Merchant Marine

This past Sunday, our Grandpa Bear passed away at the age of 87. Although he was named Alvin, he had been called Al, Bud, Chief, Boss, but mostly, The Bear. He joined his wife of over thirty years Peggy.  The bear was many things, Father, husband, owner of several Auto Part stores and one of the unsung heroes of the…

Duels Can Be Funny

Duels were a common practice among the upper class throughout history, from the Medieval period up until the 20th century.  At first, they were fought with rapiers or swords then later fought with specialized dueling pistols. Most duels, if not all, were the result of a perceived affront to the honor of a gentleman.  When one party felt dishonored, he…

St Patty’s Day

This last Saturday was St. Patrick’s Day. It is kind of a big deal in our little city with the festivities lasting all weekend.  Everywhere you look there are folks wearing green from the cute to the absurd.  I saw small children with face paint, a baby dressed liked a leprechaun (which was very cute). There were perfectly normal people…

The Chihuahua

Once there three male dogs who set eyes on a beautiful female poodle. They all rushed over to her. Aware of her charms, she said, “I will go out with the first one of you who can use the words ‘liver’ and ‘cheese’ together in an intelligent sentence.” Immediately the Lab said, “I like liver and cheese.” “No imagination at…